The Start of Something New

Where to start? I guess I'll start with honestly stating how I decided to blog. ... Well, I've been home all day and I have spent the day in front of the TV watching America's Next Top Model Season 11 on Oxygen while I search for and apply for jobs. As many of you know, I am that person who will read the last page of a book to make sure that her favorite character survives (yes, I even did that when I read the last Harry Potter book). Therefore, since I had never seen this season of the show before I went online and googled America's Next Top Model. From there, I was directed to one of my favorite websites, Wikipedia. The wikipedia article tells me who wins (and who is kicked off in each episode) and it also tells me that my favorite contestant, Analeigh Tipton, has a blog. I read a few of her entries and was inspired by her to write my own.

So, there's the guilty truth - I enjoy ANTM, and there's my shout out to Analeigh Tipton.

I intend for this blog to be about what is means to define who I am. I've been working hard on the process of defining who I am ever since I moved to California. I don't know when I started to define myself by what I do - as a straight A student, a counselor, a super busy person who had every minute of every day scheduled and was able to be present for all of it, etc. However, once that was all stripped away ... I wasn't entirely sure what to do with what was left. This all happened as I was also trying on new titles like wife and Californian. It's been quite a ride as I relearn who I am without using titles to maintain my self-esteem.

Lately, I've been struggling with sadness connected to the fact that I don't have the title of "Employed Full Time". However, even as I think about that every day, I also think about what not having a full time job is currently doing for me. I want to enjoy the free time even as I work towards applying for a new job.

Not having a full time job allows me to go on vacation with my family and spend time with all the family that is coming out to California to visit. I love and miss my family and I am so glad that so many of them are coming out to see us. I especially can't wait to entertain Jeremy's cousin, Kendra.

The biggest thing not having a full time job allows me to do is to be apart of the many weddings that I have been invited to this summer. Many congratulations to Tracy Hawkins and Kevin Decoux, Tracy Portle and Mike McArthur, and Stephanie Powell and Bryce Furhman. I am so thankful to each of the couples for asking me to be involved in their weddings - I feel truly honored. This reminds me of how lucky I am to have terrific friends. If I had a full time job, I probably would not be able to attend all three weddings for I couldn't get the necessary time off.

I'm sure more discoveries will be coming - for it is always the process that is important. But, for now, I'm going to be uplifted by the fact that my friends are amazing - what a blessing. They'll keep me motivated and moving forward even when I want to just pout and cry. Thanks everyone!