It never ceases to amaze me how I can have something on my internal "to do list" for hours, days, weeks, months, or even years and it still will never get done. Yes, I have never entirely forgotten about the fact that I had this blog and that I have been meaning to provide some sort of update.
My mind is filled with things I have meant to say - some sort of update on life or on how my job was going. It's also filled with things that I still hope to say - I do actually have a plan for how I will be able to write every day. At the moment though, I am watching the coverage of the tsunami and earthquake damage in Japan and the coastline in CA. I feel I cannot go on without expressing my prayers for all who are impacted by this natural disaster - all who have lost a loved one, a friend, everything they own, a place to work, land, a place of memories, etc. May those who have been impacted be able to find their basic needs taken care of and comfort for their pain.
I'm a few days late for starting something for lent but I've started everything a little late this year. I had a bad ear infection over the New Year and I had a bad fever that I could only keep down with medication on Ash Wednesday. Therefore, I'm learning that late is often better than never. I've never been very good at giving something up for lent - for example if I give up a food item up after a week or two I forget that I cared that much about the given food and find something else to replace it. Therefore, the past few years I've been trying to add practices to my life during Lent that make me a more well rounded person. This year I have decided to blog every day as part of my journaling practice. I am reading the Bible every day - the "One Year Chronological Bible: The entire New Living Translation in 365 daily reading arranged in the order the events actually occurred."
Let me be honest - I've been reading this Bible for about 3 years now. Therefore, I'll be starting this practice on what is labeled "November 1" in the book. Here is the scripture I'll be reading today:
John 18:1-2; Mark 14:32-42; Matthew 26:36-46; Luke 22:39-46; Mark 14:43-52; Matthew 26: 47-56; Luke 22:47-53; John 18:3-24
What you'll find is that due to the chronological nature of the layout of this Bible, I will be reading the same aspect of the story of Jesus from each Gospel. Ironically, this will be starting with Jesus in the garden/grove of Gethsemane.
In Gethsemane, Jesus says "Please take this suffering from me. Yet I want your will, not mine." This line stood out to me today, because I read it differently than I did in the past. In the past I always read it as though Jesus was conflicted. On the one hand, Jesus understands that he is about to be put to death on a cross and he knows it will be painful and lives in some fear of that path and is asking God for a different plan. On the other hand, Jesus knows that he is following the path that God has highlighted and Jesus trusts God over himself to know which path is best. However, when I read this passage today, I read it as though Jesus is saying to God, "I'm doing this for you but could you please take away my suffering while I do it"?
I'm sure I heard it this way because I had a similar prayer last night. I was up worrying about things I need to do today. I know what it is I need to do but it's not going to be very pleasant. Therefore, I was praying to God to ease my anxiety, let me sleep, so that no matter how things went down today I could act as God would like me to act. It would often be easier to do the things I need to do if there was less anxiety surrounding those things.
I also found it interesting that Jesus asks his disciples to keep watch. Does Jesus not trust himself at first? Does Jesus trust himself by the end because through his prayers and through watching the Disciples he knows he has the strength to do what comes next?
The kiss from Judas caught my attention today in a new way also. It is interesting to me because it means that the guards that are with Judas will not recognize Jesus from among his disciples. I always think that Jesus was a somehow notable figure. When Jesus traveled, many followed asking for healing. I would think this would make one a recognizable. However, this obviously must not be the case. And maybe he was - to those who needed him. However, he may not have been recognizable to others. There was actually some question as to which one of the men who travel together is Jesus. What if Judas had chickened out and kissed the wrong guy?
